Although seemingly harmless, the small mistruths we tell ourselves and others accumulate into one big, distorted perception of reality. As these patterns develop in our closest relationships, it can feel incredibly challenging to break free. Within my own family, I witness the subtle ways my parents alter their communication to make it more palatable for others. For instance, instead of telling someone they don't want to come over for lunch, they might say they lost track of time at the grocery store and now can't stop by. While that may be true, they’re not fully expressing their experience of not wanting to attend for whatever personal reasons they may have.

A LOT of the world operates from fear, often unknowingly. Fear can show up as not wanting to make someone uncomfortable, a fawning response to unwanted touch, or telling someone you’re having a great day when you’ve actually been feeling depressed behind closed doors.

In my community, I’m deeply grateful that honesty, transparency, and integrity are core values. If a friend didn’t have the social or energetic bandwidth to join me for lunch, I’d be understanding of their situation and encourage them to care for themselves. That's how I would want to be respected if the roles were reversed. And if I did feel disappointed or saddened by the change in plans, I would rely on my tools for self-regulation to process those emotions and hold myself in a space of healing. I see my triggers as invitations to cultivate more softness and compassion within myself.

When someone carries unprocessed trauma in their body, there’s often an impulse to control their environment to feel safe. This can lead to intense triggers and nervous system activations when plans change unexpectedly, causing fight-or-flight responses, anxiety, or panic. I remember a time before I had the tools I have today—when small disruptions would cause me to spiral for hours, sometimes even days. My version of "feeling better" often turned out to be a disembodied, frozen state that I was unaware of.

As I became more mindful and embraced a yogic lifestyle through yoga asana and pranayama, everything shifted. I learned to truly go with the flow and became more accepting of changes in my schedule. Now, through the PolyTantric Method, my ability to practice emotional alchemy and speak my truth has expanded exponentially. I feel grounded and connected to myself, even when communicating things that may stir emotions in others or spark challenging conversations within my relationships. I’ve learned that it’s always worth it. On the other side of speaking my truth is more connection, intimacy, and empowerment.